Why you should LOVE the recession
Not that there is one, you understand. I was just reading several right-wing blogs and they all assured me that there is NO recession. It's just negative reporting from the MSM. Same for global warming. And the permanent high cost of gas. And William Kristol really didn't write that book about the Iraq war in which he got everything, well, wrong.
As a public service announcement I am therefore ripping off Aol.com to bring you 10 reasons why you should love the recession (should we ever fall in to one, say, when the Demos win the White House). [Comments in brackets are my own]
1. Less junk mail! [junk mail is reportedly down 19%. Think how many trees are saved.]
2. Shorter gas lines [if you can afford it anyway].
3. Family dinners [helps ward off teen suicides. Guess they never ate at the Clemens' household when he was a teen. ]
4. More coupons [I am sorry my Dad did not live to see this day].
5. Free Fitness [actually due to high gas prices, not the recession we are not in: makes more people walk or bike to work. I'm trying to help out by not going to work.]
6. Bargain SUVs! [if schadenfreude is a sin I am going straight to Hell].
7. Business opportunities [wages go down, rents go down, competition goes down, opportunity goes up. Such is the theory. Me, I'm investing in a Mexican tienda]
8. Increase in gardening [NOT in the Clemens' household. I'm allergic to work outdoors: my face gets red, I break out in a sweat, I start panting for air, and pretty soon I don't have the strength to lift a mug].
9. Musical inspiration [especially County & Western songs, apparently]
10. New perspectives [Like: gee, so this is what it means to be poor! I never imagined!]
So you see - even if the Right Wing blogs are wrong, and we are in a recession, you should look on the bright side. It will be good for you.
.
posted by Clemens @ 3:37 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
We can't be in a defined recession (which is 2 consecutive quarters of negative growth) until after the third quarter. Of course, most people couldn't care less whether we had 0.5% growth or 0.5% decline as it is a feeling instead of a fact.
--Joey
Dr. S,
Love the top ten list.
Regardless of whether we meet the technical definition of a recession or not - there is no doubt that our economy is suffering - and severely.
Look around you. Stocks are falling, the dollar is trading at a pathetically low compared to the Euro and Yen, and how's this one for a smack factor? Go to a fireworks store/tent lately? I have. You know what I'm not seeing a lot of? Customers. We're 2 days away from our Independence day and most folks - myself included - can't even afford my usual 2-3 hundred dollars of pyrotechnics that I love so dearly.
Folks are having to buy gas in 20 dollar increments and having to fill up more frequently. The gas station one block away is now at $4.03. I'm not that old and can remember when gas was 83 cents a gallon. Regardless - I for one am very happy that AppalCart will be running 1/3 mile from my home in Boone. Between gas and the ASU Parking and traffic Nazi's charging 500 bucks for a pass is enough for a man to want to commit suicide.
Vote OTHER. (Yes, that's right. Other. Not Republican, Not Democrat. Write in Common Sense for every office on the ballot this year)
-Guess Who.
To 'Guess who' -
Ha. Who else would call me Dr S except a conservative Repub consultant etc. But I pretty much agree about the recession: the technical definition does not take into account what people are going through (same as Joey's point). It reminds me of the old joke about the diff btn a recession and a depression.
A recession is when your neighbor loses his job.
A depression is when YOU lose your job.
It's all in who is suffering. But go read a few pages of the National Review Online's Corner and you will cheer right up.
THOSE guys are doing just fine.
Post a Comment
<< Home