"Green Eggs and Ham" as seen by...

... someone who does computer programming for fun. "Green Eggs and Ham" is a favorite of many of us as the first book read to us. Come to think of it, after reading Jack's hilarious review this may explain a lot about the politics (and other peculiarities) of the baby boom generation. Here's a taste of the review's plot summary:

The attention-seeking antagonist asks the protagonist if he likes the dish named in the title, Green Eggs and Ham. With a bizarre contraption he thrusts it into the poor man's face.

If you know anything about eggs and ham, then you know that the only way to make them green is (a) to inject artifical dyes, which may very well be unhealthy for you, or at the very least are often made from the byproducts of coal tar and other foul substances, or (b) to let it sit in the open air until it contains enough bacteria to qualify as a biological weapon, proving (and not for the last time in this book) that in the Seussian world government regulators are like policemen; they're never around when you really need them.

Appalled though he is by the sick moral of this twisted little tale of moldy eggs and ham, our dear reviewer continues to read it to his two year old. Why? Because she likes it! Those of you with experience dealing with two year olds will understand. Sometimes you have to pander.

Sadly, he concludes with a poignant plea for help in locating more suitable reading material for the under-five set:

What I need is to acquire an abridged, illustrated edition of Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, preferably in rhyme. Anyone know where I can score a copy? I cannot seem to find any in the children's book section.

Can anyone help him out?


next time we have a department meeting to discuss the new curriculum maybe I can use my doodle time to block out a version of Crime and Punishment. Uhhh, but then I'd have to read it first.